The funny thing about all of this is that I guilted myself into going. This was the last thing I wanted to do, I didn’t know anyone that well and was so nervous I was going to be the black sheep. I was dreading it. I prayed over and over again that God would work through me and give me a servant’s heart. I was worried I was doing this for me… so I feel like I did something to help, rather than waste a summer working toward my own gain. But when I got there, I realized I was in it for Him. And guess what? He blessed me. It was amazing to be in community with other Christians. I need more of that. I’m so glad I was able to meet so many great people and make some new Christian friends. So… new friends- if you’re reading this… I love you guys and thank you for accepting me and showing me love!

The people of New Orleans are still reminded daily of the damage that hurricane Katrina brought to their lives. Not only physical, tangible damage, but emotional and spiritual damage. But even so there’s a resilience underneath it all. A city that is willing to accept the help they can get and open to what God is doing in their communities. Awesome.

I think God taught me about the importance of community. I think I try to do things on my own too much, trying to be Miss. Independent and push away help. But how much more could be done if I welcome community? I love what God is doing in New Orleans and in my life too!

God is good. So so so good.

Here’s a picture of some of the group praying with a woman whose house they helped rebuild on a previous trip. She seemed like a pretty wonderful person.

So anyway, life has been good to me. Too good to me perhaps (but that’s another topic). I’m just finishing my spring break from school, it was nice to relax and not worry about what my next assignment was.

I’ve been feeling kind of down on myself. I’m worrying that maybe I’m putting my confidence in myself rather than in God. Shouldn’t He complete me? I think so. I don’t know why I think I can do life any better than God. I will fail.

There’s this line, from a song it says, “Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching, as if I’m not enough?”. Why am I? Why can’t I let him complete me?

Why do I think that I will become whole from earthy things? I need to put all my trust in Him. And I’m trying.

I’m a college student and I know that almost everyone is in the same boat with me. Everyone wants to know what their purpose in life is. Why was I put here? How can I impact the world in my own little way and leave it with something accomplished?

I don’t want to settle for a job I think I might like, or that I’m doing to simply, “pay the bills”. I want to be passionate about what I do, and know I’m doing my part.

I see things, and I hear things about prostitution in third world countries, injustice to women in the middle-east and the horrible things going on in African countries and it makes me so sad. But at the same time, makes me feel hopeless. What can I do to help them?

I’m a 19 year old girl, who’s lived in the suburbs of Cleveland all her life, with two healthy, loving, encouraging parents, doesn’t know what need feels like and has never had to worry about when her next meal would be. Things I take for granted daily (just a few of thousands).

I want to be directly involved in their lives. But I can’t. I’m stuck here, in college, taking classes that don’t really interest me in hopes of finding a job that I will like, but no clear goal in mind.

I need an opportunity.

This is so frustrating to me.

Paul Rusesabagina: I am glad that you have shot this footage and that the world will see it. It is the only way we have a chance that people might intervene.
Jack: Yeah and if no one intervenes, is it still a good thing to show?
Paul Rusesabagina: How can they not intervene when they witness such atrocities?
Jack: I think if people see this footage they’ll say, “oh my God that’s horrible,” and then go on eating their dinners.

I cry at these pictures, but what am I going to do about it? What can I do about it? I’m just one person, I can’t fix their problems.

I guess it all goes back to prayer. So please, pray for them with me.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/11/conflict_in_congo_refugees_on.html

I’m already feeling frustrated about this school thing. I’m not the kind of girl who can sit and listen to a lecture for hours. Sure, I love learning, but in a different way. I’d rather be experiencing, not just listening. Learning should be active!

I need something new. Change. A fresh start. But, I think that I have this idea that running away from my problems will solve them. It won’t.

Feeling overwhelmed and bored out of my mind. Help.

I always joke around that I want to become a shepherd in Ireland. Hah, doesn’t that sound relaxing?

Ever feel like something is sooo right but it’s not the right time?

This, my friends, is the story of my life.

Trusting that God has a much better plan than I have for myself. I know He does.

Why has this been my mind set for the past couple years? I don’t think I’m aware of this all the time, but it’s there. I’m constantly pushing people away, but longing for friends and relationship. Same thing goes for my spiritual life. I’m holding back because I’m not trusting God with my heart. How could I not trust my creator?

I wish I could hold up a white flag and surrender everything to Christ, and I’ve tried, but really I’m just saying the words, not really meaning it. I don’t know why I think I can handle everything myself. It’s not like I’ve had any huge disappointments in my life that would cause me to be this way, but something must have happened.

I want to be able to pray to God and truly surrender everything to Him, without just saying it to say it.

Does this make any sense?

I’m part of a bible study now, which I think is so good for me. I need it so badly. The girls in our bible study are so nice, and I love the conversation. It’s nice to be around fellow Christians, I think most of my high school career I was so hungry for that, but didn’t know where to turn. This is what I need, and I’m loving it. Please pray that I continue to grow in my faith and set aside time each day to spend with Him.

Just a random thought…

Do you ever look at people and just wonder what they are thinking or feeling? I think if we understood eachother there would be so much more peace in this world. Everyone has a story to tell, everyone is in the situation or state they are in for a reason, I want to know why! My Psychology teacher last year said to do this one time. Go to the mall, observe a person, try to create a story about them, or what they do, if they are married, kids… etc. And then… go ask them to figure out how right… or wrong you were. Now- I would NEVER do this. I’m not that bold. But wouldn’t it be interesting to see if you were right about them? I think first impressions are deceiving most of the time.

That’s all I’ve got. Hope you are all well! Hopefully I’ll keep this updated!

I don’t really know how I feel about it yet. It’s kind of lonely, I loved being able to goof around with friends in class in high school, and now… I don’t know anyone. It’s weird. I feel very independent, but overwhelmed. I already have 3 papers and a speech to write. I don’t really know how I’m going to do 6 years of this.

Pray for me, please! My goal is to become a Speech Pathologist, which requires a masters. I’m not a school person, but I really think this is what I want to do and I don’t want to settle for something I will “kind of” like because I’m too lazy to finish school.

I shouldn’t complain, I’m so blessed to be able to afford a college education. God has been so good to me, I hope I can glorify and serve Him with my life and career. I’m thinking we were all put in the positions we are put in for a reason. I just have to find it! That’s the difficult part.

Another thought, why do I worry about this so much? We are only here for a moment in time, I need to stop worrying and take it in while it’s here, spend all the time I spend worrying and use it for His glory. Worrying is a big problem for me.

I heard a sermon one time and the pastor said that whenever he starts to really worry about something he says to himself, “Look at the birds!”, referring to Matthew 6. I say that to myself all the time now…

²⁶ Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? ²⁷ Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? (NLT)

No, they can’t! Good news.

So, that’s what’s on my mind. Love you all.